Well uhh i went to the mll today to see Greg and it totally blew!! i was there for like an hour and then Ryan Chris Chris and i hadda leave and i like didn't even know Chris and Chris were gunna be there so yeah it was awkward and i didn't even get a hug or a kiss or anything

Then Ryan Chris Chris and i went to Grand China and ate there and it was alrite i had a bowl of rice, oh yeah! it was good but Chris was being wicked mean the whole time and i didn't like it, it makes me feel really uncomfortable when people are racial like that.

After that Chris Chris and i went to the mall and we saw Ricky and the first thing he did was ask me for money i was like wt?! but eh, whatever...I got cool 6g earings, oh yeah! so i'm gunna make my bottom hole 6g and the top10g until i have more money then i'm gunna do like 3g 6g? maybe or even bigger i dunno yet...And i got an awesome CD that i'm listenin' to right now! Punk-o-rama...yep yep

i dunno there really isn't anything else to talk about...

~Nikki

I totally forgot to write yesterday!! *gasp*

I was gunna write after the dance but Greg called me!! And i don't like the phone at all but i like talking to him on it cus he is just one cool cat!

The dance last night, it blew, like a whore on saturday night!!! Wow...i like that saying a liiiittle too much...Nothing happened at all...I didn't dance with anyone and Chris wasn't there  Chris totally makes the dances!! he is my FAVORITE gay friend!!! and then like i dunno it was weird but i had like 21564324564 airheads!! and i wasn't like lively until afterwards when i was on the phone with Greg but i wasn't like hyper i was just actually talking unlike when i usually don't.

Speaking of Greg!!!!! i think Ryan me cooooooool cousin is bringing me to see him...haha ME cool cousin, not MY, wow i am weird...

anyways later today then? yep...sounds good to me

~Nikki

My new thing...Mindless Self Indulgence...Listen to them!!

Nothing happened in school today.

Erica wasn't there again...

FEEL BETTER ERICA!!!

Hmm...yeah...that's it i guess?

~Nikki

Today advisory was so awesome! I was crying i was laughing soo hard!! Sean totally owns! and so does Justin!! We were yelling to the room next to us through the window and i opened the door and Mr. G came in and dragged Justin over my body and it hurt  But then we hadda sit down and Sean was flipping out and laughing sooo hard talking about what just happened and stuff, it was one of those you have to be there moments but it was awesome to the max!!!

I alsmot fell asleep in Social Studies but Ryan started talking to me so i came back to like normal i guess? Yeah it was wiiiiiiicked boring and i was tired so it made it like so much worse!! But eh, whatever it's all good!

Last period i won Oreos!!  cus i won bingo cus that game owns and Miss Greene is totally rockin' and the songs were cool to, Mark, Mark and I were bobbing our heads to them and stuff...i dunno it was cool.

I have been thinking about alot of things lately, like why i am the way i am and why do i do the things i do? and i think it's because when i was so depressed and i thought there was no way out that is what i did, and now it is just what i do. It's a bad habit just like biting your nails or fidgetting, only it is much worse for you. I really wish i wasn't this way, but i am and i try my hardest not to be. I don't want it to effect the way people look at me or the type of person they think i am. I'm still the same me as before you knew, before you saw, or before you heard. I don't know anymore, i get sad sometimes for no reason...And it's not like oh i'm sad and if i eat some ice cream i will feel better, it's like I am so sad and i don't know what to do with myself i want it all to go away. There are people who help me when i am in that situation and it is such a good thing because i would be so much worse off than i am now. I don't know what people do when they have no one to talk to. But i don't think i will be changing anytime soon and i don't want to die, i just want to be me...I want that to be okay. It probably isn't, and i can't change that, i will try very hard to but i just don't think i can...I'm Sorry

I have a wicked bad migrane...still, it's wicked lame and i hate it sooo much!! i think i'm gunna try to nap, that might make me feel better.

~Nikki

It was pretty darn cold today, eh?

haha eh...i wanna move to Canada so i can say 'eh' all the time, but all of you probably know that already...

but anyways where was i? oh yes it was cold! i didn't wear my awesome Used jacket thingy today because Shenna was wearing it because her and Erica had the same sweater on, i dunno it was weird but whatever so she was wearing it and admiring my awesome Led Zeppelin pin!  but her and her friends didn't know if it was a guy or not cus it doesn't show his "ding dong" it was preeeetty funny...

P.E. was cool to the max too, it was pretty funny we were talking about how 'big' people are  Wow it's interesting talking to StephanIE...no Y!!!

Aaaaand to sum it all up! i tutored today! woo...i was supposed to tutor Matt but his mom can't drive in the snow so he left and i tutored Mario...it was pretty cool, Mario is wicked nice  We played some insane hang man and tick tack toe too, it was neato!!

Wow...that's it really...

-Nikki